Valuable Banking

Valuable Banking

 

 

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, " Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.


Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?"


" No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our Bank Master card yet?"


"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.


"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"


Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!!!!"

 

 

 

Regards,

Nitin Guru •  Senior Developer • SunGard  • Offshore Services • Divyasree Chambers Langford Road Bangalore 560025 India
Tel +91-80-2222-0501 Ext – 2355 • Mobile +91-9902918679• Fax +91-80-2222-0511 • www.sungard.com

P Think before you print

 

Indian Hockey players to go on hunger strike

 

CHENNAI: Irked by the "step-motherly treatment" meted out to the Indian hockey players by the central and four state governments, when compared to the sops given to cricketers after their win in the Twenty20 World Cup, the team members have decided to go on a 'hunger strike'.

 

National Chief Coach, Joaquim Carvalho strongly objected to the announcement of cash awards by the Civil Aviation Minister Praful Patel and the state governments of Maharashtra, Haryana, Jharkhand and Karnataka to the cricketers while ignoring the victory of his wards in the Asian Continental

Championship early this month.

 

"Why our hockey players are orphaned and why our politicians are biased towards Hockey, the national game?", Carvalho asked.

 

However, "we are grateful ever to the President of India for her sending individual letters congratulating the hockey players for their Asia cup win, without losing a match".

 

He declared that one coach and four players have planned to go on hunger strike before the Karnataka Chief Minister's house for his announcing Rs five lakh each to the members of the cricket team, while "treating the State hockey players like dust".

 

Carvalho said "Karnataka CM has not till date congratulated his State hockey players for the Asia Cup win".

 

"Coach, Ramesh Parameswaran, manager R K Shetty and four players (Vikram Kanth, V R Rahunath, S V Sunil and Ignace Tirkey, who was recently adjudged for the Ekalaywa Award by the Karnataka Government) are to go on hunger strike before the Karnataka Chief Minister's house', he said.

 

Carvalho said: "when K P S Gill announced Rs 1000 as bonus for every goal that was scored, many people in authority, including a few politicians made a hue and cry and ridiculed the (Indian Hockey) Federation".

 

"In fact, there is a competition going on between politicians and state governments in announcing cash prizes galore for cricketers", Carvalho said.

 

But "when hockey is the national game and when we have won a big tournament like the Asia Cup, why have these governments and politicians not recognised our triumph and instead are showing bias?", he asked Stating that he and the entire hockey team had congratulated Mahindra Singh Dhoni for his

World Cup win, he said: "I am not against cricket or cricket players".

 

"Every sportsperson need to be recognized.  The cricket players deserve the cash awards, no doubt, but aren't the Hockey players deserving to be treated in the same manner".

 

As for Punjab and Haryana Governments' cash awards to cricketers, Carvalho wanted to know whether these governments show same 'gratitude' to its hockey players - Sardar Singh, Baljit Singh, Gurbaj Singh, Shivendra Singh and Rajpal Singh.

 

On the Civil Aviation Minister's decision to give cash awards and out-of-turn promotion to cricketers in Air India and Indian Airlines, Carvalho wondered whether the Minister knew that these organisations has hockey players in their pay rolls.

 

Indian Oil :: Scholarships to Poor Students

Spread this Across, so that the poor students gets benefited.
 

http://www.iocl.com/scholarship-form.aspx

	450 Scholarships for Students of 10+/ITI, Engineering, MBBS & MBA Courses       Abbreviations: SC : Scheduled Caste, ST : Scheduled Tribe, OBC : Other Backward Class, GEN : General, PC/PH: Physically Challenged/Physically Handicapped (minimum 40% disability as per definition under Disabilities Act 1952) Distribution of 250 scholarships for 10+/ITI will be as under and based on location of the School/College/Institute.   North : Delhi, Punjab, Uttar Pradesh, Rajasthan, Uttaranchal, Haryana, : Himachal Pradesh & UT of Chandigarh 50 Nos East : Bihar, Jharkhand, Orissa, West Bengal : 50 Nos. West : Maharashtra, Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh, Chattisgarh, Goa, : UT of Dadra & Nagar Haveli, Daman & Diu 50 Nos South : Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, Kerala, Andhra Pradesh, Pondicherry : 50 Nos North Eastern States Arunachal Pradesh, Assam, Manipur, Meghalaya, Mizoram, : 40 Nos Sikkim & Islands Nagaland, Tripura, Sikkim, Andaman & Nicobar Islands, Lakshadweep, Minicoy, Aminidivi Islands etc: (Additional to East & South)   Jammu & Kashmir Jammu and Kashmir : 10 Nos 200 scholarships will be for students pursuing 1st year of Engineering, MBBS and MBA courses on zonal merit basis. There will be only four zones i.e. North, East, West & South for these three scholarships. J & K will be considered in North zone, North Eastern States and Sikkim will be considered in East and Andaman & Nicobar Islands, Lakshadweep and Minicoy Inlands will be considered in South zone for Engineering, MBBS & MBA Scholarships. The candidates applying for scholarships in these three professional Streams must therefore quote North/East/West/South zones only (as applicable) in their case. ELIGIBILITY: Students pursuing full time courses in these streams & studying in Schools/Colleges/Institutions/Universities recognised by MCI/AICTE/State Education Boards/State Govt./ICSC/CBSE/Central Govt./Association of Indian universities, shall be eligible to apply. The student should have bonafide admission in the 1st year of School/College/Institute/University in the academic year 2006-2007. Students of two year full time post graduate courses in Business Administration/Management recognised by Central/State Govt./Association of Indian universities and which are equivalent to MBA, are eligible for management stream scholarship. Students having confirmed admission in the first year of full time engineering degree course. MBBS, MBA and also 11th standard as well as those in the 1st year of 2 year ITI course are eligible to apply. In case of graduates, the average percentage of marks of all the academic years shall be treated as eligibility marks. Minimum eligibility percentage of marks for various categories will be as indicated above. Gross Joint income of the family of the candidate from all sources (during financial year 2005-2006) should not exceed Rs. 1,00,000/- (Rupees One Lakh only). The marks obtained in the qualifying examination making the students eligible to seek admission in the respective first year of these courses will be considered for selection. Normalisation of marks of applicant shall be done for Engg. MBBS & MBA streams to bring parity of marking system within defferent Boards/ Universities/Institutions. Criterion for selection will be merit and family's income. Wards of the employees of IOCL, its Joint Venture and Subsidiary companies and ABC Assessment Services are not eligible to apply. AGE LIMIT: Minimum 15 years and maximum 30 years as on 1.9.2006. Persons born between 1.9.76 and 1.9.91 (both days inclusive) are eligible to apply. RESERVATION & RELAXATION: Relaxation in the upper age limit is 3 years for OBC candidates, 5 years for SC/ST candidates and 10 years for physically challenged/physically handicapped candidates. 50% of the scholarships are reserved for SC/ST & OBC candidates. In each stream/category, 25% of scholarships are reserved for girl students and 10% for physically challenged/physically handicapped students. Only those listed in the central govt's OBC list will be considered against OBC quota. OBC candidates of state list and not covered by central govt's OBC list may apply against general quota. APPLICATION: Candidates studying in 11th standard, 1st year of a 2 year ITI course, 1st year of Engineering degree, MBBS and MBA in the academic year 2006-2007 are to apply on the prescribed format given at IOCL's website www.iocl.com. Forms can also be filled and submitted online by logging on to http://www.epostbag.com/. Such candidates need not send forms by post. Once awarded the scholarships will be disbursed @ Rs. 2,000/- per month for 4 years in case of Engineering & MBBS and 2 years for MBA courses and @ Rs 1,000 per month for a duration of 2 years in case of 10+ and ITI course. Duration of each course in no case be less than the duration of the scholarship. The scholarship will be suspended, if the scholar is not promoted to the next academic year. In case, the scholar is not promoted for the second time (in succession for 2 years during the entire course), the scholar will be taken off from the list of IOCL scholars and scholarship will be discontinued permanently. The performance of the scholar must be satisfactory during the entire duration of the course. the performance is to be certified by the Head /Principal/Dean/Director of the school/College/Institute/University. The top one scholar each from final year of Engineering, Medicine & Management (who top their respective university exam) and top 10 scholars amongst final year of ITI & 12th (who are able to achieve position amongst top ten in their respective Board) will be awarded bonus prize of Rs 10,000/- (Rupees Ten Thousand only) each and invited to the annual day function of Indianoil Institute of Petroleum Management, Gurgaon, to receive the prize. The travel, board & lodge expenses will be borne by IIPM/IOCL. A scholarship holder under this scheme will not hold any other scholarship/stipend from any other source. If awarded any other scholarship/ stipend, the student can exercise his/her option for choosing the scholarship that he/she proposes to avail and inform awarding authority about the same. In case, the scholar opts for any other scholarship, he/she will have to refund the scholarship amount for the duration during which he/she is in receipt of the IOCL scholarship. There will be no obligation on part of IOCL to provide employment/vocational/summer training to any of the scholars, at any time/stage. IOCL reserves the right to reject any application as well as discontinue the scholarship at any time without giving any notice/assigning any reason. GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS: Applications received later than 30th September 2006, will not be accepted. No correspondence on this subject will be entertained. Only prescribed format of A4 size (without any enclosure or certificate) should be used and forwarded. IOCL shall not be responsible for any postal delay/loss in transit. No request in this regard will be entertained. Incomplete application form will be rejected. Court of jurisdiction for any dispute will be at Delhi. The shortlisted candidates will be requested separately, by post, to forward their Caste/Date of Birth/Mark Sheet/family's Income Certificate etc., duly authenticated by appropriate competent authority/civil authority for verification of documents and drawing up final merit list. However, in case the marks, income or any other information; declared at the time of initial application; if found incorrect during scrutiny; the candidature of such candidates shall be summarily rejected. Decision of IndianOil regarding Scholar's selection shall be final and no correspondence on the selection process shall be entertained. LAST DATE: Completed application form in respect of candidates, who are unable to submit the application online, on A4 size application format, without any mark sheet/certificate/document should be forwarded so as to reach by 30th September 2006 by ordinary post, to the administrator of the scheme: ABC ASSESSMENT SERVICES PRIVATE LTD., Post Box No. 007, Srinivaspuri Post Office, New Delhi-110065

 

How to identify a software engineer

 

How to identify a Software engineer

1.       He/She never bargains... No wonder things have become so costly!

2.       When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven't slept for years...

3.       Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon...

4.       Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what 'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by 'default'...

5.       Weekends are holy words... they are like a salvation one seeks for...

6.        "Wazzzup", "Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by "how's work?"

7.       Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in...

8.       They don't send or take things... they always forward them!

9.       Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day...

10.   They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do... When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room" J

11.   Mondays are always blue...

12.   All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now...

 

Right to Emergency Care - India

 

Right to Emergency Care:

The Supreme Court has ruled that all injured persons especially in the case of road traffic accidents, assaults, etc., when brought to a hospital / medical centre, have to be offered first aid, stabilized and shifted to a higher centre / government centre if required. It is only after this that the hospital can demand payment or complete police formalities. In case you are a bystander and wish to help someone in an accident, please go ahead and do so. Your responsibility ends as soon as you leave the person at the hospital. The hospital bears the responsibility of informing the police, first aid, etc.

Please do inform your family and friends about these basic rights so that we all know what to expect and what to do in the hour of need.

 

 

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This message and any attachments are intended only for the use of the addressee and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If the reader of the message is not the intended recipient or an authorized representative of the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, notify the sender immediately by return email and delete the message and any attachments from your system.

Black google - Save Energy

 

Ever thought that even the web search that we do costs the environment!!!! It does…..have a read Blackle -- Heard of this…..?

Blackle is nothing but a black version of google.

 

"A few months ago, TreeHugger Mark Ontkush wrote a post on his blog EcoIron titled Black Google Would Save 750 megawatt-hours a Year. The post lays out the following train of thought. "An all white web page uses about 74 watts to display, while an all black page uses only 59 watts." Google, which has a white background and gets about "200 million queries a day" could reduce global energy use by 750 Megawatt-hours a year by simply changing the color of itshomepage to black.

In response to this post a black version of Google emerged called Blackle.com. According to Blackle's homepage at publication time, 4,408.917 Watt hours have been saved by. Nice ideas.

 

Start saving energy one search at a time. : Blackle.com instead of google.com

So here's your site: http://blackle.com/

 

 

Hyderabadi..Its all in attitude....

 

Recruitment at Microsoft

 

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One
candidate is Vella Reddy an Indian (Hyderabadi) guy.

Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks those who do
not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to
himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll
give it a try'

Bill Gates asks the candidates who never had experience of managing more
than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to
himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose
if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asks candidates who do not have management diplomas to
leave. 500 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I left school
at
15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asks the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to
leave. 498 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, ' I do not
speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays
and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joins them and says 'Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Reddy turns to the other candidate and says 'elaa vunnavu babu'
The other candidate answers 'baguunanu babu'.